First letter to my daughter
My dearest Ani,
Your mom and I are insanely in love with you. We thought we knew what joy was when we got married last year, but your arrival changed our understanding of how much the human heart can feel for another being. We love sitting and watching you figure the world out. You have a very inquisitive nature for someone your age, and it looks like you’re struggling a little bit with information overload. Your face is often scrunched up, as if concentrating hard to make sure you don’t miss anything. Take it easy, little one. You’ve got a lifetime ahead of you to experience the world.
We’ll do all that we can to equip you with everything you need to succeed in life, but first of all, we want to offer you our definition of success and happiness to consider. It’s not about the car you drive, or the clothes you wear, or the restaurants you eat at. It’s not about how expensive your shoes are, or the amount of tech gadgets you own, or how quickly you got them before everyone else. You can have those things if you desire, but you shouldn’t want them because you think they’ll make you happy. Any joy you find in those things is synthetic and fleeting. There are other forms of success that are not as ready to the eye, but help fill the heart more completely.
What will give you true joy is a strong sense of self and purpose, a circle of good friends, great relationships with your family, and bold new experiences. You’ll be happier after every difficult challenge you face head-on, and tackle with courage. You’ll be happier when you don’t settle for the “prize for participation”, and instead, lose while giving your all. You’ll be happier when you approach everyone you meet with grace, humility and respect, regardless of where they’re from, what they believe in and what they’ve accomplished in life. Music and dancing will make you happy, as will good books and any Pixar movie. Hanging on to your sense of wonder and your curiosity, and using all that you absorb to imagine new things and create them….those things will give you joy unimaginable.
I’m a practical guy, so I’m going to share some unpleasant truths with you. Life is tough, and there are lots of people who will stop at nothing to reach their goals, even if it means hurting you. There are times when they do so accidentally, but there’ll also be times when their actions will be deliberate. First of all, find it in your heart to forgive them. Let those experiences educate you, but not make you calloused. Don’t let anyone’s darkness dim the light that you are. Secondly, be brave in cutting those who would hurt you intentionally, out of your life. You are strong, smart and wonderful, and your beauty runs deep and wide. There’s no place in your life for any form of malice. It’s cancerous, and if you allow it a point of attachment, it will try to overcome your sweet soul. Chop it off, little one. Chop it off.
I’m going to keep my first letter to you relatively short, but want to leave you with these eternal truths: Liverpool Football Club is the greatest football club in all the land. Duke basketball rules. Your beautiful mom and I will always, always love you, and will always do what what we believe is best for you, even if it doesn’t make sense to you at the time.
dad..